Choosing the Right Spouse: A Non Vulnerable Destiny

Few decisions in life shape your future as much as picking your spouse. This choice affects your life, your children, and even generations to follow. It is a serious decision because marriage is more than just romance; it is a commitment, a partnership, and a reflection of God’s relationship with His people. If you are wondering how to choose the right spouse, this message is for you. The heart needs more than just feelings; it needs wisdom, discernment, and God’s gentle guidance.

In Genesis 2:22, we learn that God created a woman from man’s rib. When Adam saw Eve, he said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” He recognized she was meant for him because God brought her to him. He didn’t just find her; she was created and given to him by God. Today, while God may not physically deliver someone to you like in Eden, He still wants to guide you. Choosing a spouse without asking for God’s advice is like buying a house without seeing it. You may regret it when the truth comes out.

Peter, a talented young man in church, fell for a woman because of her looks and charm. Many envied her. But months into their marriage, Peter realized they did not share the same faith, values, or vision. The spiritual divide grew wider. They could not pray together, and she resented his commitment to church. Eventually, their marriage faded. Outer beauty attracts, but inner beauty lasts. Proverbs 31:30 states, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

1. Shared faith and values: 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns against being “unequally yoked with unbelievers.” Can you both walk the same spiritual path? Without shared faith, your relationship will face division.
2. Character over charisma: Is the person kind, patient, and forgiving? How does he/she treat people who cannot help him/her? Character is the unseen foundation of a lasting marriage.
3. Emotional maturity: Can he/she deal with conflict without anger? Is he/she quick to say sorry? Marriage requires daily forgiveness, so choose someone mature enough to handle challenges.
4. Purpose alignment: Does this person understand and support your life’s calling? Can you pursue your goals together without resentment?
5. Family and background insights: No one is perfect, but knowing your potential spouse’s family background helps you understand behaviors and beliefs. Love might be blind, but marriage reveals the truth.

• Disrespectful behavior,
• Constant lies or half-truths,
• Emotional or physical abuse,
• Reluctance to grow in faith,
• Poor money management,
• Avoidance of accountability,

Choosing the right spouse is a spiritual choice before it is emotional. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Fast, pray, seek advice from trustworthy mentors. Sometimes, God offers peace in your heart; other times, He reveals truths you may not want to see. Either way, trust in His guidance.

Angela once shared in a youth group about a man she almost married. He seemed perfect, handsome, financially secure, and a churchgoer. But in prayer, she felt uneasy. She paused to pray and later learned he had lied about past relationships. She chose to walk away in peace. Years later, she met her husband. He was not flashy but deeply faithful, patient, and committed. She often says, “If I had married my first choice, I would have been unhappy. But I married God’s choice, and now I have peace.”

Questions to Ask Yourself

• Can I trust this person with my future and heart?
• Does he/she draw me closer to God or pull me away?
• Can I imagine growing old with his/her soul, not just the body?
• Would I want my sons or daughters to be like him/her?

Dear reader, choosing the right spouse is not about finding the perfect person because perfection is not common. It’s about finding someone who complements your purpose, has the character to maintain love, and joins you on the journey toward heaven. Marriage is not just sharing a bed or name; it is sharing a future. Choose thoughtfully, choose wisely, and choose with God’s peace in your heart.